An Unlikely Love

It was a cringey fanfic that was meant to pair susan off with holly alto because I saw it on tumblr.

The fic
An Unlikely love

Made with The Sims 3 (disclaimer, this story may or may not contain: lesbians, murder, squicky relationships, imaginary friends turned real, witches, vampires, werewolf(f)s, fairies, the career stuff from Ambitions, Mortimer not ending up with Bella, crack pairings, crossovers, theme naming, rich hippie girls, and redhead women scientists. May also contain a lot of other things cuz’ I’m a bit weird and people like plot twists. So there is nothing it may definitely not contain. This story is a bit cracky, like taking Franceau pairing from Strangetown Here We Come and other stories about ST, and turning It around. I do not know if the story will contain ST, though.)

 

Hi.

Wake up.

''This is Sunset Valley, Llama County, California.''

''Do not know Llama County? It’s just like Orange County. Only with less oranges, and quite more quirky. So anything can happen when you’re in Llama County. Sunset Valley was built up by an exponential family called the Landgraabs, and the founding of it was helped by another, slightly-less-rich family, by the name of Goth. Uh, and there may or may not be another family that is rivalling with the Landgraabs. But there might be no such family, or no such hype.''

''But this story begins with a particular girl…''

'''Woman! She is like, 50!'''

''What if I told you the story both had girls AND women protagonists?''

'''Well, said ginger is really knockered up! '''

''See that neighborhood? See it? The one with all the rectangular modern housing and that cute little house? ''

'''Yup. Uh, most of these houses look modern. Not like any of them has a name literally meaning modern house and little house, right?'''

''Might, but might also not.''

''One little house of cream and black, & one modern house of the same cream and black.''

''This story begins in the cute and quiet, of modern purity but very little, cream-and-black house over the north of town. ''

Jamie: Why I cannot be this story’s main character? Sure you did not mean the teal-and-gold house that you can see the roof of in the scene above? I have everything! I’m smart, beautiful, can pack a great punch… well, I’m trying to resurrect some ghosts – btw, their names are\were Opal, Ransom, Jennie, and Basil – so things may get quite complicated really fast!

''Yes, you’re quite interesting, but your love triangle with Christopher Steel and Thornton Wolff was overdone too many times. So much that a lot of times, people move in the big lot next to the Landgraab and their rivals, just so they can say they’re poor and woo Chris up to get him to change his last name and move him with them. And have thin-lipped kids. One of them inherits the estate and may go on marrying someone like Mortimer Goth or whatever people are disponible in the hometown. After 5 generations everyone is related to them, so they move on to Riverwiew. Or something. And you’re pretty in a regular way, there I’m trying to have someone pretty in an *exotic* way. ''

Jamie: Wait, what, I can be pretty enough for you! Why are you going back to Minihause or whatever it’s called!

'''Because you’re just a supporting character. Or maybe a backgrounder. '''

Jamie: O-okay. Disclaimer colon this story may or may not include doctor psychiatrist Jamie Jolina of House Plan B, either as a supporting character, a backgrounder, or a llama. This should have been included in the disclaimer!

''“A Lot of other things” includes you. But It also includes Mortimer Goth being adopted by anthropomorphic llamas that worship grilled cheese and are both named IAmNotRelatedTo Shrek, while Gunther and Cornelia are off being mauled by a pack of mutant freezer bunnies with Swedish accents. Amirite?''

''But Mortimer has nothing to do with that story. As in he’s not the main at all. He’s way too overdone. This is a quirky story it needs quirky pairings. Like in a beautiful world, there was a beautiful lady. She was even more beautiful than Jamie Jolina according to some! Or at least myself. And possibly just as smart as her or even smarter. She’s like what Dr. Jolina would be if she were 13-ish years older and married with a daughter.''

''But nobody can stay married forever, cannot they?''

'''Right, you’re going to be the ginger in the above picture. I’m guessing the dude with the really really light platinum blonde hair, is the husband. The daughter may or may not live with 4 other roomies including – or possibly not - a computer nerd that goes by an online name, a cook that also paints and sometimes is a bit punkish,  a charismatic ballot counter that’s always in her flirty mode, and some local rockstar that actually acts very plain when he’s outside the camera lights. Or maybe not.'''

''Yup, you’re quite right. Sciencey couple go go go! But why do they have to be called “sciencey”? I’m thinking more of something along the lines of Wainwright… propably b\c that’s what the last name is. (Yay!) But we might not see that surname a lot. One week passes, it might not be called the wainwright family anymore.''

''Why! Hello there, Susie!''

Susan: Do not call me Susie. It’s S-U-S-A-N. You do not need a name shortening that’s basically the same number of letters as my actual name!

''Hi, Susan. So, I guess you’re quite the snooty girl.''

Susan: Yeah. I need attitude if you have to buy a lot of thing. I’m a compulsive buyer ya’know? I’m also a scientist. People say “the only thing that keep someone working is wanting to spend simoleons for all our toys”! B\c here in Llama County, someone – Admiral Malcolm Landgraab the Zeroth and an half, if I remember correctly – decided we did not need dollars like the rest of the country, so now Simoleons are the official currency of the county. Of course, my husband is also a scientist! I prodded my daughter to join the family business, but something happened and now she works as a snitch in the police career. Who needs policepeople when you can just build thousand of robots?

''Right. Atta girl. Or atta woman, cuz you just happen to be around fifty?''

Susan: -Ish. Apparently, the town aging progression – along with all of the county and it’s disciple towns\conquests – was set by the Great Llama – a biotech machine\elder god hybrid made by Admiral Landgraab’s twin brother Benedict Landgraab – in a way that now makes us only live 90-ish days. But  I’m considered an “adult”. With 11 days until I turn into an elder. Then I would be 73 days old. But in maturity terms and suchs, I guess I’m pretty similar to an human 50-years-old. But I prefer to say that I’m 11 days to elder. It makes me feel younger.

'''Can I see the husband?'''

''Yeah, you can see him right now.''

Boyd: Hiya! My name is Boyd Wainwright – that means ''“the blonde wagon builder” ''in Scottish.

'''I think these are white hair you got there, not blond…'''

Susan: My husband’s hair is just a really light platinum blond. He’s not albino, just really, really, pale. Actually, if you went to the town stylist thing, just next to the crazy couple’s house, they – as in stylists not crazy couple – would call his hair “Platinum White”. And they would say my hair was “Auburn with red streaks”. If you want to see more regular blonde, think along more of the lines of our daughter, Blair, or even the four Bunch kids. Even though their mom is naturally “Mustard Yellow” and their dad – my best friend - ’s hair is “Darkish Peanut-Butter”.

''Peanut-Butter and Mustard Banana Bunch! Yay!''

Boyd: That sounds like it will be really delicious. Except that usually we’re on a diet of very expensive sushi. Or sometimes, it’s fish-and-chips. Expecially when Blair comes. But since I’m a scientist and Susie is too – I can call her Susie sometimes, right? – it’s usually semi-artificial fish-and-chips. Just pick some rocks and leaves, and use a transmuter over it. Just as good as naturally occurring fish with naturally occurring chips!

''Yup. You can call her Susie cuz you two are married to each other… at least for now…''

Boyd: Hello-o there! Lemme go on this blank canvas you’ve got!

Susan: We had a daughter. Now she’s moved out. I’m drunk on coke. High-tech  red-wasabi-flavored coke. Actually it was flavored of a photo of a llama, but that is what it actually tasted like to me. And I guess…

Boyd: So I guess, now ya’r all drunken hard. You smell like… um. I can see the red wasabi smell all over you. It quite matches your hair. Could I kiss these ruddy lips for awhile?

Susan: Wonder if there will be white wasabi too. But I guess the science people can make it! The power of science can make everything! Can I kiss your pale, angelic, lips?

Boyd: Yes, you can kiss the angel lips. The only reason my name is not Angellips Wainwright, it’s because it was already taken by one of the Great Llama’s 500 daughters. He also has 500 sons! They govern the various Llama County townships. Of course that Angellips Wainwright not only has llama-y flavored lips, but she is not related to me in any direct way, cuz Wainwright is just one of her given names & her family identifier would be “Llama”. The Great Llama just likes having kids with weird-ass names.

Susan: * kiss* Yup, you still have angel lips to me… bring me to bed…

Blair (offscreen): ''Can you imagine if my parents named me Llamacheezy Wainwright or any of those cartoony names? Ok, it could fit me, but maybe I should be lucky I’m just Blair. A police woman should not be named Llamacheezy or Angellips at all. Nor a scientist. ''

Boyd: I found the perfect roses for you. Their red sunshine and spark matches your hair.

Susan: These white roses, actually, match your hair instead.

Boyd: ZOMG you’ve convinced me!!! Ya’ve got me at “These”.

Their bed, like of course most of the house, is coordinated in whipped white and radiant red…

'''Uh, it matches their hair! Lookit! … If Susan is red-based, and Boyd is white-based, why did they name their kid Blair and not, like… Pinkie or something?'''

''Well, not only miss Blair Wainwright ended up with blonde hair- and a regular blonde at that – but Blair means Field in Scottish. ''

'''And now you will say “Susan” is secretly the Scottish word for “I want to eat a beautiful ice-cream that has too many gummy bears in it and I want to eat it while I’m riding a llama while I’m circounded by freezing bunnies chanting the theme to a videogame titled Super Frio Bros and an evil plantsim is next to me yelling the lyrics to a lewd song about Goopy Carbonara”, right? Or something like that?'''

''Why would there be a Scottish word for that, and why it would even be that short? Shoshana means Lily in ancient Hebrew and Rose in modern Hebrew. Considering she married into the family… ''

'''Do we even know the family’s genetic makeup?'''

''Well, as you guess, Boyd is of 75% Scottish and 25% Groenlandian descent. He’s not albino, just very, very pale. If you want to see an albino sim, look at Conrad Finley over at Midnight Hollow. Susan was originally one of the last few (fully or almost fully, anyway.)  humans living in the outskirts of Dragon Valley. Which is on the left side of the same island as Scotland. Or something. A 2000’s human couple was once whisked upon in 1058’s Dragon Valley. They had twins named Lucy and Bramble. While little Lucy returned to Earth with her generic-southern-American-ish (“euromutt” but also 10%-ish native American\hispanic) mommy and high-class English-descended daddy, taking the latter’s surname as hers, Bramble remained in Dragon Valley and took on the title\surname of Pendragon. There’s a pizza boy here in Sunset that’s also her semi-direct descendant. Most humans of Dragon Valley since then, have been Bramble’s descendants in some way. You can actually see the Pleasant – it was the maiden name of Bramble’s mother – in Susan. Just look at that strong tan of hers. And these pretty red hairs!''

'''That sounds… quite cool, I guess. Boyd looks even paler when compared to her!'''

''Yup. Since Bramble was born of time travelers & they’re distant ancestors anyway, if Susan bred with one of the Burbs or Pleasants – Bramble’s dad was known as John Burb – it would not count as incest anyway.''

''Susan threw up into the toilette. Do you know what this means?''

'''She’s pregnant. Of course! When else do they get that kind of nausea? When they eat bad food (which Susan never does) and when they have some sort of illness (which Susan is propably vaccinated for).'''

''Do not know how, but apparently Boyd right after waking up, went to the local pool to refresh quite a bit, and then take a stroll in the park. He had quite a ticklish to do that… Uhm, it seems like it’s getting all plotty!''

'''I love plotty! I love plotty a lot! Expecially if za plot includes lots of drama, murder, and fights. And stuff like these. '''

I guess there will be many of these stuff in there.

 

Ok? Did ya like it? CLIFFHANGER! What will happen now? Is Susan pregnant? Will it be a boy, a girl, or twins? Or triplets? What will happen to Boyd Wainwright? Who are the mysterious narrators I will nickname Mr. Italic and Lil’ Boldy? What is the mysterious “Unlikely Pairing?” Back in SHwC there was Franceau, but you cannot go and just ship Girbits Worthington\Flat Broke (or maybe replace Flat Broke with Bob Newbie?) cuz it only does not make Franceau slightly incestuous, but it would also be a bit obvious as a Franceau replacement. Plus, if this story was about Girbits Worthington, I would have made it start in Starlight Shores, and then I would have had him and his mother + grandma + stepfather (possibly) end up in Riverwiew, where they met the Newbies\Brokes.

But I started in Sunset Valley and I have intentions of remaining there, so…